sleepless nights. still confused.

i'm still craving for peace of mind.

don't know yet if im doing the right thing.

i'll miss the warmth of each class with my friends.

i'll miss film showings, those debates, our eternal strive to laugh on film trash.

the technicality provides me only metres from my colleagues.

still, its not a NICE feeling to see them talk, without GETTING what they mean.

i'm just SO used being one of the BIG chatters.

i still feel different, and unlucky at times I compare my situation to theirs.

BUT, i'm left with no OPTION.

i have to.

not having the right to do what i want.

its KILLING me.