Thy vagueness, I recollect
8/17/2005
My existence as a novice filmmaker just happened a couple of months back whilst I had the opportunity to take up a bachelor degree, having a slightly-hidden parental disapproval. Optimism grew as I was about to be taught of my greatest passion, to create masterworks in the line of my chosen career. But then when I started to know how this thing scatters itself with so much complexity, I began to resent my thought of pursuing it anymore. Of peer pressure, I guess, my mindset was again changed when I grabbed the chance to be a part of an interest-based organization which brands itself as the premier student film organization in the country.
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As I began to do my duties as a claimant, I had the opportunity to have a succinct chat with someone I vaguely could understand. He’s that guy who might have always been mistaken as a nerd geek for he was never without his black suitcase with papers carried by both arms. It was almost like everyday when I see him pass by hurriedly and I welcome him with a warm greeting. He just replies with an engaging but meaningful smile then leaves as soon as I smile back.
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It was finally a conversation, not only an exchange of placid smiles, I thought.
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Deep within this first impression, it is crystal clear how substantial he is as a person. He relates questions like “What’s your favorite color?” and “What’s your greatest fear?” to the peculiarities of human existence particularly filmmaking. How cool is that, I said to myself.
There’s this one question that made me change my whole perspective towards him and life in general. I simply asked, “What makes you different from other members?” It was a struck in the heart to know how hard it is for him to accept his situation. At first, it may be considered as a simple physical disability, his eyelids were half-closed giving you the chance to see only half of his brown, interesting eyes.
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He just answered with a blunt laugh then said in exact words, “Para akong tulog diba? Alam mo bang kalahati lang talaga ang nakikita ko? Kailangan ko pang tumingala para makita ka nang buo.”
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There was complete silence for about twenty seconds. It was broken by the moment he started to joke about it. But for a sinister emotional like me, it was a damn serious situation. I realized he was truly a man of valor, having the guts to pursue a visual communication career despite his incapability to see the whole magic, the true magic of film.
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At the end of that chat, I agreed to his offer of watching one of his short film productions entitled ‘Malikmata”. As I sat down the couch while watching it with my fellow applicants, there’s this sentiment telling me how great life is for us having all the capacities He gave us. At least when we will be the ones to produce our own films in the future, we will achieve the ultimate satisfaction of seeing every horizon that we ought to see.
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And yet, this guy, a brave man of passion for his craft, continues to pursue his dreams though the world for him will forever seem half-seen.
**personality sketch comprising an almost fictional foundation**
